people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
porn star boner night. come get it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
