I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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