How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
