i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
