I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize