If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
