I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
