Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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