1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
