Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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