me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
