If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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