i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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