Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
