Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
