White coat. Heels.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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