I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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