I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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