I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
