Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
