What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
