Already got asked if we're dating
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
