question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
