Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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