I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
