Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
where does the pee come out of this thing
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize