Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
