I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
