But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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