Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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