Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
