Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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