Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
