I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's Friday. Sex?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize