he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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