you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
