why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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