think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize