dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
