??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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