it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
