Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
