shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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