Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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