what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
