Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
