They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize