we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
