R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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