youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
