Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
