you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
