he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
