Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
