can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
