What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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