Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
