so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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