didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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