His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
