I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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