Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
