The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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