I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
