it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
did i walk over a car last night?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
