Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize