If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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