Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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