Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize