Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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