I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
